Boredom Swiping

I can do this. Just upload the app again and just do this thing. People are doing it everywhere. Every flight attendant I work with has a husband or a boyfriend. They have people who put up with this lifestyle. So many of them met on Tinder. I should have less emotions about it. Just do it.

Y’all I have swiped left on half of DC and half of Maryland. Sometimes I swipe left so fast I don’t even know what or who I saw. Who skips entire regions and cities? This girl right here.

My thought process:

“eww something about his eyes” or “sunglasses, I can’t even see your eyes.”

“this one has a small dick”*note i”m a magical dick finder.  I don’t know what it is.  I find the big dick.  It’s out there.  It has a look in its eye and a certain way it stands.  It’s going to pull your hair and make you call it “daddy”.   It might make you cry at the end with crazy but It will put his name on your vagina for life. I think there is a term and it’s called BDE which stands for “Big Dick Energy”. Its real and I am a tuning fork for it. Going dick shopping is hard when you had a good one for the last two decades. I care about the personality attached, but lets face it,I can’t go back to average.

And again with “who puts their kid out there on the internet”

“he put a photo of a dog on here as his first photo to make me dig deeper. I’m lazy” swiping left. But, I do love dogs. Eh. Swiping left.

Swiping left is so easy. Because if I swipe right chances are he swiped right too. I don’t want to brag. Something tells me if I swipe right, I will get a match. I think men are less discerning. It’s, “I have a dick, she has a vagina”. Right swipe. “Boobs”. Right swipe. Women are going to over think the entire process. If his stripes on his shirt are vertical, I don’t think he’s truly in tune with his life, because you need to be in tune so obviously you would have horizontal stripes. You’re chill with your life. NO real rationale here folks. This is my brain on Tinder and right now it’s swiping left hardcore.

#swipingleft #swipedrightonce #scaredtodate #FML #tinderscaresme

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