Thank goodness Michael looks just like his photos. Praise be. He also has teeth. So, the man never smiled in any of his photos. He just kind of used his sexy closed mouth look of, “I’m a man I don’t have to fucking smile”. My greatest fear meeting this man was he had jacked up teeth. I am shallow. I do not care and openly admit it. My vanity is the reason my skin looks so good at my age. Dating is a shallow process in general yes? He has nice teeth. Instantaneous relief.
I am so nervous. It’s just a man. I need to relax. It’s the first man I’ve met from the internet. I’m sweating. Why did god make my body to sweat so much? Other women don’t sweat like this. Fuck me.
He is a big man as far as working out goes. His shoulders are as wide as a pick-up truck. His biceps are bigger than my thighs, and that is saying something. Definitely sexy, but also a little dorky which makes him super sweet. He’s nervous too I think, but playing it off much better.
Michael shows me around the business and tells me what they do (I don’t remember?). He asks me how many people I’ve met on Tinder and I tell him he is the very first one. I tell him I’m shy (everyone that knows me stop laughing because you probably met me at work, where I am not shy.)
We sit down. I feel quasi comfortable because we have been texting for about a month at this point and have spoken on the phone a few times. I’m nervous because I’m an awkward person.
Michael tells me he has been divorced for 2 years, they were together for 9. He says he “just couldn’t take it anymore” and that he would have worked it out for his daughter but the ex was unwilling. #redflag I told him I had been broken up with my ex for 1.5 years (not true but also true). He asked me the same question when I said we were together for 6 years as to why we never married. I was anti-marriage and so was my ex. We see how well that worked. He tells me that he was dating a nurse but he broke up with her because she told him if he ever shaved his beard she would leave him…. #redflag. He said there were just some things he would not put up with. #redflag (maybe she was joking?) I’m sensing some baggage, but I’m letting it slide because I like him still and I have my own baggage. He seems upfront and honest about everything and that I can definitely appreciate.
Michael does proceed to tell me a story about how his ex wife created a fake Instagram account and started following his nurse ex. #redflag She then apparently called the nurse and told her that she (the ex) and Michael were still sleeping together. #redflag. He made the comment that the ex didn’t want him, but apparently didn’t want him to be happy. Ummm #REDFLAG. Maybe his rollaboard won’t fit in the overhead compartment?
The rest of the conversation goes well. I feel fairly comfortable around him. Like I said, his dorkiness puts me at ease but his testosterone keeps me interested. I am such a dude sometimes. Like stop thinking with my vagina; I cannot.
His shift is over, we managed to hang out comfortably for two hours or so. He gathers his lunch and we start to walk outside. I walk over to his car.
I think I was standing close to him? He pulls me in and starts kissing me. Am I kissing him? He is so broad I have no idea what to do with my hands. I am uncertain my arms will fit around him, so I just kind of rest them on his chest. He is a good kisser. Did he just pull my hair? Did that hair pull just make me moan out loud? Not everyone knows how to do that right. I’m so fucked now. It was the hair pull. I. Am. So. Fucked. I was not ready for that man to kiss me like that. No one has kissed me with any kind of passion for at least 3 years. I was not ready at all. That was by far the sexiest kiss I have had for a very long time. My ex was good, but not that fucking good. I could barely walk to my car. I drove home a sopping wet mess. I masturbated like four times that night. Any dignity I had escaped when I let out the moan. He knows he has me.
#sofucked #myvaginaisnowincharge #whoknew #tinderok #dignitygone