BBQ Luncheon

I arrive and Joe is there. I’m late by 10 minutes. He is fine AF ladies. Looks just like his photo. A nice 6’2” and muscular. He gives me a hug and his body is as hard and firm as it looks. Ok Joe, let’s eat some BBQ. Let me say for a minute, I can’t eat in front of people I don’t know. So they buy me lunch, I pick at it and I take it home and devour it. He pays for my lunch like a gentleman.

We talk. He tells me I’m more beautiful in person and that I am a pleasant surprise. Let me also state for the record that I am a DD chest. In photos the boobs make me look fat, which I am not. I am athletic with giant tits. So I don’t really post a full body shot. I know that Joe is happy with my boobs and he’s happy that I look fit. I do work out.

As lunch continues I can tell that Joe is falling already. HIs eyes are too bright and he is super excited. He wants to take me for a motorcycle ride. I hear about his roommates and where he lives along with information about his children and his past career. You know what Joe knows about me? Where I live, what I do for a living and that I like football. These men do not ask questions. He really knows nothing about me at this point, but he thinks he loves me already. I see it on his face.

I can’t get Michael to man up but I have Tinder Joe looking at me like a snack. When a man’s eyes light up, you know you have him. The man was under his breath, “you look amazing. You’re better in person.” Maybe I am like a man. I need a challenge. This man has also reminded me to keep that light out of my eyes when I meet someone I like. Keep it under wraps so they don’t see I’ve been gotten. I’m learning lessons out here.

I cut things off with Tinder Joe after about an hour and a half at lunch. I feel like the man could stare into the oceans of my fake green contacts for hours. It’s time for me to go. He walks me to my car. The man is truly a gentleman. Honestly, if I could get this need to just get laid and not give a fuck out of my system and this man could get his rebound girl, there might have been a chance for us. Tinder Joe is a good guy; however I know he’s not healed yet and I don’t want to be a nice man’s rebound. That’s how I would end up getting hurt again. I have to do it differently this time somehow.

He texts me later that he likes my confidence and he wishes he could spend more time with me. That confidence you like Mister Man comes straight out of my new novel, “don’t give a FUQ”. If I gave one, you would have ridden away on your motorcycle looking for someone else.

I am now 1 in 1 million vaginas. How do I stand out from all the other greedy bitches? I literally do not believe I can actually meet someone at work. Passengers are dicks and pilots are dicks. I have no desire to be single for the rest of my life. I am too sexual for that. I know people that can forego. Not that girl. Not today.


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