Category: Tinder

I did hear from Michael that night. I heard from him. We chatted. I went to bed. I texted him a funny meme the next day and said, “hey what’s up.” I heard nothing. That was a few days ago. Someone explain to me what happened here. You swiped right again. So now what? Are you upset because I said you are confusing (because hey at this point you own the championship belt for that shit)? I can’t guess and/or speculate anymore. This just went weird. I can’t do weird. I’m busy. I have things to do.

#doubleghosted #tindersucks #datingat40 #tinder #tinderconfused #onlinedating

Tinder sends me a notification that I have a new match. Since I swiped left on an entire region of people, I know who the match is. Sure enough, it’s Michael. At this point I can only think how fecking weird my life has gotten. Things were not like this when I met and dated people in person. I’m going to type the entire conversation out for y’all and let you decide how strange it all is:

Me: Oh look, we matched.

Michael: I had to swipe left a lot until I finally found you again.

Me: You have my cell number? I kind of figured you ghosted me.

Michael: No I didn’t ghost you, I’ve been busy.

At this point I have to pause and think, hey I never asked this man what he was looking for. His behaviors prior to the ghosting indicated that he was looking for a relationship. Let us continue. This conversation took place over a period of three days.

Me: I should ask the question I should have asked to start… what are you looking for?

Michael: LMAO

Me: Seriously

Michael: Serious relationships

Me: Hmmm have you met someone then?

Michael: You. I just laid down to nap. I’ll message you when I get up.

Me: You’re confusing lol. Sleep well. How about texting?

That’s the end of the messaging. W… T…F. for real. We shall see if he texts me like a person or not.

 

#wtftinder #tinderghost #raisedaghostfromthedead #swipingleft #tinder

So I finally get a break in my unstable schedule.  Michael has an off duty assignment watching a building so we agree to maybe meet. I’m not really stressing it because I wanted to go to the pool and we had something similar come up once where his daughter’s soccer game interfered. I’m also not getting my hopes up because Scheduling still hasn’t given me a trip, and if it has a check-in before noon I’m going to bed. Just how it is.

Uhhh…so no trip until 2 p.m. He calls me. He wants to meet me. We can’t text forever. I’m in a bit of a panic now.

I have no dating clothes. I have a black shirt that shows my cleavage. It has a tiny panda on it. Maybe not tiny… maybe more average in size with the panda.  First adult dating meet and greet in a panda shirt? I sent SOS to my best friends and heard nothing. Granted, I only gave them the 20 minutes notice that I had. PANICKING. A fucking panda shirt? The panda is small, but regardless it’s still a panda. Jeans. I should just wear jeans. I can’t sweat this anymore. If this man can’t handle my panda obsession then he isn’t for me. I love pandas so much. Everyone knows it.

My roommates were gone. No one is answering the phone. I need to drive the 30 minute drive. I thought what the hell. I’m wearing it. So off I went.

My best friend, S, did call. She thought I was dying (I mean maybe texting “SOS 911” was a little dramatic but it’s how I felt). Nah girl, just a dating disaster. My best friend, R, also pulled through. He talked me down all the way to the place I was going which is about 40 minutes, but I somehow made it in 30ish. He took the man’s name down and I shared my location on my Iphone. Hopefully if he killed me R would find me and vindicate my untimely death.  I texted Michael that I was there and he told me to go to the back and park by his car.

As a side note, I sweat a lot normally because I’m always hot. I have black leather interior. I am so nervous but I’m trying to be cool. I mean I’m in jeans and a fucking panda shirt. Just show that you’re cool enough to not give a fuck. He’s walking down the stairs he says… and I really need to stop sweating. Like for real. He opens the door… and

#cliffhanger #isheashotashisphotos #firsttindermeet #notadate #firstmeet #tinder

I’ve more or less stopped looking at Tinder. I can’t juggle 2 men at once. I don’t want to. It’s too much back and forth and trying to remember who does what. Ask my friends, my short term memory is total shit. I do look forward to hearing from this man though. I also am confident that he will text me every day. I am not anxious about not hearing from him, which is a nice change.

We have been texting for about a week. My schedule sucks (as I mentioned) and it’s even worse in the summer. If I’m the last person that texts, he knows it’s his turn to text next. I hear from him every day. Not too much, not too little. This is Goldilocks’s “just right”. I don’t feel pressure to meet the guy. He hasn’t asked for photos of my feet… or my tits. He seems cool with my schedule (although there are small references to me being gone I choose to ignore). An example would be, “the guys you have dated must really miss you.” Yeah, I don’t think my ex was capable of missing anyone but his mom his best friend. I haven’t dated since I started this job. Well, except the man that broke up with me over the phone after 6.5 years BECAUSE of this job. You know, small stuff.

We begin the text flirting… It’s not offensive but it’s definitely there. More like how tall are you and I see you have a tattoo on your chest. I do catch Michael saying things like “hey babe” which I think are kind of familiar terms, but hey I haven’t dated for over a decade. The Internet has changed life so much. #callingmebabelaready #newtoonlinedating #niceguyornah #tinderfuckitall

I wake up the next day and Michael has actually initiated a message. It’s a simple “Hey what’s up”. Sometimes I worry if a message is too clever that the man is trying too hard or hiding something.  I want a simple man honestly.  I respond with something in kind. The conversation flows. He actually seems nice. He’s not asking for photos of my tits or being inappropriate. After a couple of days exchange, I give the man my number. Why not? He didn’t pressure me for it. I’m invested in this thing at this point, at least on a curiosity level. This man is interesting. He tells me he’s a cop. I used to be in Law Enforcement. If I’m going to meet someone from the Internet then let it be an LEO. I could still end up in a body bag, but at least it wouldn’t be a botched job.

Michael converses with me like a human. He remembers my weird schedule and things I’ve said before. He asks me questions. He seems interested without being freakishly interested. I try hard to explain my life. I’m a flight attendant on reserve. I have 10 days off a month, but I’m on 24 hour call the other days, but I never know where I might be. These people can call me at 2 am and I have to be at my airport by 5 am. There is also “the list”. Dependent on my position on the list I could get called but maybe not. See? I get tired just typing this shit out. I’m confusing myself over here and I halfway know what I’m talking about. It took me a year to even know what I’m trying to tell this man to figure out in a few days. I figure since he does shift work (midnights no less) he can somewhat comprehend how hard it is to schedule things? He has Friday-Sundays off. I may never see a weekend off for the next 3-4 years. Then I have, I’m still kind of commuting to Florida but… does he need to know that?

Internet dating I think you have to establish boundaries? I don’t want a one night stand; he doesn’t want a one night stand. We send selfies to verify the other person is real. He is open about his life and where he is and what he’s doing. He has a daughter. I have no idea how to deal with that, but we just started so I can’t even think that far ahead. Let’s face it, my age group is going to be full of children. I will have to figure it out. I do notice he uses a SnapChat filter when he takes some of his photos. I kind of like my men manly, but we overlook things right ladies? I’m trying to be more open and less judgy. I’m a gay man trapped in a woman’s body.

#tindertoreallife #allthemessages #figuringoutdating #internetdating #establishingboundaries #tinder