I match and get a message that he’s old fashioned and would like to meet up sooner rather than later for a drink. OK. I’m off this week and seriously I’m looking to get laid, but have learned from Tinder Matt that I have to play the game first. We message for maybe two days and he says he’s going on a motorcyle ride and can we meet for lunch? Why the fuck not.
I give him my number expecting a text. The man calls. On the phone. Someone forgot to tell the man it’s 2018 and we don’t talk on phones anymore. I know most of his story in 10 minutes. Freshly divorced by a woman that cheated on him while he did all the work. My brain heard some more stuff but I think I tuned it out yadda yadda yadda. Blah blah blah. Then we get to lunch. He makes ME pick. Again why do I always have to pick? You pick. Please someone pick the place. I’m just going to get a go to place in every city at this point. I’m going to pick a bar and a restaurant in every city. The people will know me when I come in as “the woman with many men”. I’m going for burgers, BBQ and high end vodka. If you want to see me at night, I like prime rib.
Tinder Joe is very nice and easy to talk to. We agree to lunch on Thursday. I pick BBQ. Close to me, far from him. That’s what you get.
Swiping left... Almost always 